The blog of the wandering douche

For recognition of the inhumane, thoughtless, greedy, and the negligent. And douchebags.

Posts Tagged ‘USA

So this is what a google alert for “douche” turned up –

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http://www.niggermania.net/forum/. The URL speaks for itself. I had a really weird feeling coming across this, as if I’d been walking down the street and bumped into Richard Nixon or something, and had a “holy shit – you ARE real!” moment. I mean, man – you hear about people this narrow-minded, but you never expect to actually bump into a real one yourself in the course of sane browsing. And I’ve been to 4chan man, I have seen things. Trolls couldn’t do anything to up the magnitude of the douchery here.

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May 30, 2011 at 8:08 pm

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To protect and serve, if by protect you mean “rape” and by serve you mean “get away with it”

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I’m not a guy that categorically has an issue with the 5-0. I’ve known a few cops over the years, by and large they’re just regular folk. However, like all regular folk, you get some bad eggs. Exhibit A. If I were a woman in NY who found herself drunk and in need of help, this event would make me think back to the sage and cautionary words of Ice Cube, in his ode “Fuck tha police“.

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May 29, 2011 at 11:24 am

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Dana Rohrabacher is a pernicious asshat

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With logic this harmful I’m not sure I want to even bother taking the time to learn how to pronounce this assholes name properly. I’m glad I only have to type it…man, think of what his wife goes through – she has to pronounce it and sleep with the bastard.

Ok, so a cliff notes version? Cut down all the trees, because they contribute to greenhouse gas emissions. This is because during part of the diurnal photosynthetic cycle, trees emit CO2. This is interesting because human beings also emit CO2 when we exhale, so if he’s putting this forward as a solution then we may need to think about killing everyone. You guys in?

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May 29, 2011 at 10:11 am

Bumnugget o’ the day

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somealphanumericbabbleChef’s special. Scott Walker, one of the leading lights of deconstructive partisan politics in America (ok, so there’s a galaxy of little lights, and it’s not like he’s one of the more significant luminaries) has taken on staff (at taxpayer expense) one of his donor’s sons.

Fair and balanced?

Also, I really wanted to use this sweet-ass CC image from Brotherxii’s flickr stream. Those folk protesting in Wisconsin deserve a lot of kudos, if you haven’t been following it, then go track you down a recap of the lead-up, then catch up with more recent details via this.

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April 11, 2011 at 3:54 am

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So here I was, innocently pondering semi-retirement in my dotage –

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– When along came a cocksocket called Terry Jones. Tracey Barnett put it in a more work-internet-filter safe manner than I could ever restrain myself to do, in this editorial for the NZHerald.

There have been too many assholes for me to track in recent months, really there have. I’m sorry for my apparent recalcitrance…shout-out to my booooeeeeee Mubarak!

Muammar Gaddafi

Tepco

The republican senate, for passing legislation denying the existance of climate change

This power-tripping brownshirt in blue…

Yeah, ok – I’m all worn out now. Too much pointless evil and stupidity gets me down. Suffice it to say that there seems to be an oppressive amount of asshole in the world right now eh? Bedtime, I think.

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April 5, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Music Douche, not many of those but here’s one…

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Sometimes I’m irrational, which I think is fine, because my irrationality is deeply heartfelt. Case in point – Ke$ha’s  track “we are who we are”, which rhetorically answers that timeless question; “Who’s a vacuous douche?”

At first I couldn’t work out why I heard maybe just three lines and then thought: “I don’t like this that much” but then I listened deeper, longer. And I thought “Possibly, Ke$ha, you are the apotheosis of lame”. But I’m torn between lame and awesome, because when something is so shit, the rebel in me is obligated to like it, and I do, and it is awesome. It’s less clear when lame corporate songbirds compete with each other, but when one dominates mindshare over the others, only temporarily as they do, and lifts his/her head over the parapet, he/she/it deserves what it gets.

Ke$ha deserves it on the basis that the song reprises the meeting-room of fourty-somethings it was written in, a sterile, boring space, filled with sterile, boring people, making a wage imagining what the youth of today (the “forever young” in the parlance of Ke$ha) want to hear so much so that the people who can most easily be parted with money (vacuous idiots, who generally deserve what they get, to be fair) will do so in its presence.

The song says “tonight we’re going hard”. Well, fair call. Who can deny a little going hard? “Just like the world is ours…” Well, presume what you want, can’t say I’m not guilty of this… “We’re tearing it apart…” Uhhhh…hang on…how? By buying apple products, costume jewellery, and clothes? By trading on sexual stereotypes pouting on video to sell more of your product? “You know we’re superstars…” Ok, 31 million youtube hits is 3o,999,999 more than this blog ever had, to be fair. “We are who we are…” Dickbags, clearly, who value temporally good looks and like going shopping, who like the idea of slogans, and who like poses as long as they get to choose which picture gets used.

But then, just to bite me in the ass, she says: “DJ, turn it up” – christ, I’m shaken by that exhortation. No DJ, don’t – you’ll threaten my establishment easy-chair. “It’s about damn time to live it up” (I wonder if she warned her mum before the song came out, and said “Mum, I’m going to say the d-word in this song I’ve got coming out, I’m going to say “Damn”!” – her mum said “Criminy! You’d best put a jesus necklace reference there or your father and I will be praying for your soul this thursday.”). Then, “I’m so sick of being so serious, It’s making my brain delirious” – I have this mental image of Barry, the divorced 52-year old at Sony/RCA who’s banging the overweight 32-year old temp working for him, and feeling like the pure distillation of youthful energy that he’s not, thinking of that line and yelling at the lyrics workgroup “SERIOUS/DELIRIOUS – AWESOME EH? IT’S EDGY, AND HITS THAT RHYMEY DEMOGRAPH….FUCK I AM HOT!” /Hi fives his colleague Rod.

Fucking hell, I hate this song. But also, I love it so…it’s vacuousness makes it a sick little zombie of a song, a warthog of unlovability – zeitgeist flash-in-the-pan seppuku of the creative soul. Still, she is young, a hackneyed cliche pandering to a 20-something market, apathy with a credit card, tequila, and fuck-me-boots. And possibly, therefore, an immortal archetype.

I like this kid instead. He does not suck.

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December 15, 2010 at 10:37 am

I can’t get my head around tea-partiers…

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Nor should I, I think. I get headaches when I try and reconcile how so many people in a well-developed country could be so misinformed and misguided. Check out this great video, it’s eleven minutes of your life you’ll never get back, and it might provoke a stomach ulcer. Behold the FoxNews flock and their epic ignorant douchery!

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April 27, 2010 at 5:47 am