The blog of the wandering douche

For recognition of the inhumane, thoughtless, greedy, and the negligent. And douchebags.

Posts Tagged ‘Pure bitch evil

2-wheels-good, 4-wheel-douche

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I saw the most ugly thing this morning. I’ve never felt compelled to txt one of those dob-in-the-idiot-driver police numbers, but I did today.

So I had just landed at Auckland airport, very early in the morning, blue sky shining, early summer idyll…all the rest. I hopped in a taxi, and headed into town. At an intersection coming into Newmarket, there was an old blue toyota corolla at the very front by the red light. A cyclist, a dapper looking silver fox of a man, rode up beside the toyota on a high-end fixie….chrome frame, footclips, fancy rims with carbon spokes, the whole nine yards. He pulled up beside the toyota, and slightly in front of it, as he correctly should to ensure he was in the drivers’ sight line.

At this point I should make clear that we’ve just had a week where five cyclists have been killed in hit and run accidents.

Continuing, the driver piped up something to the effect of: “Oi, lookout mate.” – the rider then responded with something matter-of-fact like “It’s alright, I’m just trying to make sure you can see me.”

Well, the driver didn’t like this – he said something like: “Yep, I can see you, so now can you get the fuck out of the way?” – and at this point a little bit of back-and-forth ensued…

“Aww, whatever mate…”

“Fuck you”

“Fuck you back, with rusty spoons”

So the light is still red, ok? The driver then turns the steering wheel toward the bike, stomps on the accellerator, and rams the bike. A measured response? Yes, a very badly measured response.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and me and my somali taxi driver looked at each other with wide eyes and eyebrows raised.

“He is an ass.” said Mr Taxi to me, pointing at the corolla driver, who was now climbing out of his car and storming toward the cyclist. He finger jabbed, yelled, and tried to stand over the older guy, who was about six foot four. Corolla man was pretty solidly build, and the betting money would have been on him as the aggro escalated. However, the cyclist didn’t back down, and invited corolla man to go fuck himself.

The light went green. Horns went. Corolla man hopped in his corolla. Life went on as it had before.

Oh, no it didn’t….what I meant to say was,  he hopped in his car, revved, and rammed straight into the bike again, knocking it down and running over it, buckling the wheels to shit.

Yeah, that’s what I meant to say. The cyclist leapt off in time and was unhurt, by the way, but Corolla-man is an irreparable arsehole.


Written by thewanderingdouche

November 24, 2010 at 8:17 am

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Supreme douche awarded gift of karma

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I suspect it’s just an initial downpayment. It’s very sad to suggest that the suffering of an individual is somehow fair, or even, justified, in the course of the delivery of justice….pregnant pause there for the irony to sink in… yeah. But in this case, lets just appreciate the schadenfreude for what it is – a warm, glowy feeling, with just a wee sense of the universe serving up a little justice, thrown in there.

Written by thewanderingdouche

February 23, 2010 at 6:31 am

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