The blog of the wandering douche

For recognition of the inhumane, thoughtless, greedy, and the negligent. And douchebags.

Posts Tagged ‘Freedom of speech

The ghost of racism past is still alive in Rick

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Every kiwi’s secret news fix,, posted a federated article on a whale that washed up on the Wairarapa coast. Some comments were posted, and as per usual, that’s where the more meaty reveal took place. Before I proceed, I should make clear that the most reprehensible racist I knew happened to be named Rick, and Rick came from the rural part of the country just north of Wellington – the Manawatu/Wairarapa area. Anyways, I was reminded of precisely him today when the article above was posted, and promptly commented on, by a racist douche named Rick. I find the comment interesting because it articulates the profound ignorance of the racist NZ honky, the person for whom the biggest issue on earth is those “bloody maoris” and the “dole bludgers”. Rick represents all of those pakeha too stupid to bother to actually learn what the Treaty of Waitangi means, who just want the maori to roll over and take the cultural genocide they suffered at the hands of the colonial government of the 19th century. Take a bow, Rick the douche.


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May 11, 2011 at 8:50 am

Cab-sav o’clock? Must be time to do a roundup

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Here’s a chunk of links, some of which will be qualified as douchery, and some as anti-douche (or something to that effect). I’ve been really enjoying the increasingly socially-aware boing boing recently. Cory Doctorow’s link articles have been providing particularly good coverage of the mess that the UK is devolving into, which is my segue for their callout of Facebook’s  latest foray into civil felching.

Oh! Oh! Totally saw this on boing boing too, while we’re at it –

Next up, this post’s quota of copyright PYAITK. Courtesy of slashdot.

Lastly – an epic hero, because it’s always good to end with a story of good triumphing over evil.

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May 1, 2011 at 11:25 am

A response to the NZ Internet Copyright Infringement bill

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So I was just sitting here eating my baked beans, reading the morning news, when a thunderbolt struck in the form of a tangental link between my choice of 2am listening material and this mornings federated news. Let’s start firstly with the 2am listening material in question, and make it the backdrop to the news I was reading.

The thunderbolt was Mark E Smith’s appropriation of Hunter S Thompson’s observation that “when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”. What a fucking revelation. With that in mind I thought of a civic response to the bill –

I hereby assert copyright over everything that I produce that is unique to me – this includes such items as my email address, my image, hell, why not my DNA? In the event that anybody abuses this copyrighted information (for example, to email me an infringement notice) I will assert my copyright and request that their offensive and improper use of that material cease. People who use this material in a reasonable way (reasonable being where no-one fucks up my shit) can do whatever they want.

So I say that if this mechanism has been created and applies to New Zealanders to give copyright holders protection from copyright abusers, then clearly we all need to become copyright holders so that the abuse of copyright cannot proceed. Simple.

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April 24, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Karma gives the noble act of civil protest a cuddle in England

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Two-link one-source posts seem to be my fleeting fancy. Here’s a heads-up on the douchebaggery of the metropolitan fuzz. It’s nice however when it’s possible to point out that justice is on to them. Go, justice, go.

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April 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm

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Music Douche, not many of those but here’s one…

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Sometimes I’m irrational, which I think is fine, because my irrationality is deeply heartfelt. Case in point – Ke$ha’s  track “we are who we are”, which rhetorically answers that timeless question; “Who’s a vacuous douche?”

At first I couldn’t work out why I heard maybe just three lines and then thought: “I don’t like this that much” but then I listened deeper, longer. And I thought “Possibly, Ke$ha, you are the apotheosis of lame”. But I’m torn between lame and awesome, because when something is so shit, the rebel in me is obligated to like it, and I do, and it is awesome. It’s less clear when lame corporate songbirds compete with each other, but when one dominates mindshare over the others, only temporarily as they do, and lifts his/her head over the parapet, he/she/it deserves what it gets.

Ke$ha deserves it on the basis that the song reprises the meeting-room of fourty-somethings it was written in, a sterile, boring space, filled with sterile, boring people, making a wage imagining what the youth of today (the “forever young” in the parlance of Ke$ha) want to hear so much so that the people who can most easily be parted with money (vacuous idiots, who generally deserve what they get, to be fair) will do so in its presence.

The song says “tonight we’re going hard”. Well, fair call. Who can deny a little going hard? “Just like the world is ours…” Well, presume what you want, can’t say I’m not guilty of this… “We’re tearing it apart…” Uhhhh…hang on…how? By buying apple products, costume jewellery, and clothes? By trading on sexual stereotypes pouting on video to sell more of your product? “You know we’re superstars…” Ok, 31 million youtube hits is 3o,999,999 more than this blog ever had, to be fair. “We are who we are…” Dickbags, clearly, who value temporally good looks and like going shopping, who like the idea of slogans, and who like poses as long as they get to choose which picture gets used.

But then, just to bite me in the ass, she says: “DJ, turn it up” – christ, I’m shaken by that exhortation. No DJ, don’t – you’ll threaten my establishment easy-chair. “It’s about damn time to live it up” (I wonder if she warned her mum before the song came out, and said “Mum, I’m going to say the d-word in this song I’ve got coming out, I’m going to say “Damn”!” – her mum said “Criminy! You’d best put a jesus necklace reference there or your father and I will be praying for your soul this thursday.”). Then, “I’m so sick of being so serious, It’s making my brain delirious” – I have this mental image of Barry, the divorced 52-year old at Sony/RCA who’s banging the overweight 32-year old temp working for him, and feeling like the pure distillation of youthful energy that he’s not, thinking of that line and yelling at the lyrics workgroup “SERIOUS/DELIRIOUS – AWESOME EH? IT’S EDGY, AND HITS THAT RHYMEY DEMOGRAPH….FUCK I AM HOT!” /Hi fives his colleague Rod.

Fucking hell, I hate this song. But also, I love it so…it’s vacuousness makes it a sick little zombie of a song, a warthog of unlovability – zeitgeist flash-in-the-pan seppuku of the creative soul. Still, she is young, a hackneyed cliche pandering to a 20-something market, apathy with a credit card, tequila, and fuck-me-boots. And possibly, therefore, an immortal archetype.

I like this kid instead. He does not suck.

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December 15, 2010 at 10:37 am

Technology douche

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So here I am, quietly on the couch, browsing away on a shiny new iPad like the skivvy wearing iDouche I never wanted to be, and I suddenly realize what a dick scene the iPad is.
I knew some of this in advance, like the fact that it doesn’t really multitask. At all. I knew that it was locked down tighter than the vaults in Geneva full of Nazi gold. I knew that it meant installing iTunes on a machine somewhere, which iThink sucks.
Despite all of those red flags, somehow I ended up with one, and now that I use it, I realize that I hate its shiny little arse. It is trying very hard to force me to operate how it wants me to…all I want to do is have a YouTube window open in my browser playing Sunn O)))) whilst I do something else. Namely, playing another Sunn O)))) track at the same time in another browser window. Why? Because I’m curious to hear the result and it’s reasonable to expect to be able to do so. Why the fuck not?
Stupid iPad. This douche nomination is shared between me (for getting the useless, sexy, well built little shit box) and the iPad itself, for all the reasons above multiplied by the increasingly Orwellian dickness of Apple.

Also, for extra lulz, I should point out that I was unable to ram my iJokes down your throat at this point in the post – I wanted to start this sentence originally with “iHate iT”, or some variation, but the iPad refused, REFUSED, to allow me to start a sentence with a lower-case letter. “I can not be associated with puns so unfunny” it mocked, “You are actually not cool enough to use me.” So then I broke out my faithful laptop to type this, while the iPad sneers at me from the corner of the room for being such an uncouth dingus.


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November 8, 2010 at 8:01 am

Douche in principle…

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I don’t like the manipulation of the masses in China through the flow of information from the govt through the media…I like it even less in my own country. Behold – I dub this the Great Wall Of Flax.

BTW, screw vodaphone, xtra, telstraclear, and any othe douchefuck that supports this in principle. Lets take a quick look at what this is meant to achieve – it’s meant to stop kiddie fiddlers from perving pictures of child porn – this is not a bad thing. However, did they ever stop to think that kiddie fiddlers (on the net at least) must feel like quite a persecuted species? Jesus, they’re smart enough to invoke KGB-derived cryptographic practices on occasion – what makes you think this will slow them down? It won’t, basically – all it means in practise is that the rest of NZ is left with a censored, filtered, monitored internet. Oh gee, awesome. I feel so much safer. And I’m curious – where do they draw the line? What are the determining factors behind banning a URL? Is this open to revision? Do we trust someone who felt compelled to sneak this past us while we weren’t looking?

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March 11, 2010 at 11:43 am

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