The blog of the wandering douche

For recognition of the inhumane, thoughtless, greedy, and the negligent. And douchebags.

Posts Tagged ‘21st century copyright

Cab-sav o’clock? Must be time to do a roundup

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Here’s a chunk of links, some of which will be qualified as douchery, and some as anti-douche (or something to that effect). I’ve been really enjoying the increasingly socially-aware boing boing recently. Cory Doctorow’s link articles have been providing particularly good coverage of the mess that the UK is devolving into, which is my segue for their callout of Facebook’s  latest foray into civil felching.

Oh! Oh! Totally saw this on boing boing too, while we’re at it –

Next up, this post’s quota of copyright PYAITK. Courtesy of slashdot.

Lastly – an epic hero, because it’s always good to end with a story of good triumphing over evil.


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May 1, 2011 at 11:25 am

A response to the NZ Internet Copyright Infringement bill

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So I was just sitting here eating my baked beans, reading the morning news, when a thunderbolt struck in the form of a tangental link between my choice of 2am listening material and this mornings federated news. Let’s start firstly with the 2am listening material in question, and make it the backdrop to the news I was reading.

The thunderbolt was Mark E Smith’s appropriation of Hunter S Thompson’s observation that “when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”. What a fucking revelation. With that in mind I thought of a civic response to the bill –

I hereby assert copyright over everything that I produce that is unique to me – this includes such items as my email address, my image, hell, why not my DNA? In the event that anybody abuses this copyrighted information (for example, to email me an infringement notice) I will assert my copyright and request that their offensive and improper use of that material cease. People who use this material in a reasonable way (reasonable being where no-one fucks up my shit) can do whatever they want.

So I say that if this mechanism has been created and applies to New Zealanders to give copyright holders protection from copyright abusers, then clearly we all need to become copyright holders so that the abuse of copyright cannot proceed. Simple.

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April 24, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Canada, North America’s sensible conscience.

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This is just a quick post to make the point that coming up soon, Canadians will have the chance to choose between the future or the past.

Hi Canada – don’t fuck it up like we did. Just saying.

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April 23, 2011 at 12:04 pm

I may be preaching to the converted (both of you out there)…

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Hilariously enough, this image was the result of google image searching for "Rhino in high heels", but I feel it captures some important nuances worthy of representation within a debate such as this...Here’s a quick Farking by way of background on the copyright debate. As usual, the article linked is a piece of superficial shit dealing with “WKRP in Cincinatti” reruns and other great debates of our times, but the comments below the link are a good introduction to some of the bigger issues within the copyright debate.

So where’s the meat in this? Basically, that the concept of copyright has been directly transferred from the physical media transfer model that has applied right through history, and forcefully applied without considered adaptation to digital media. It’s like forcing a rhino into high heels. It really just doesn’t work.What’s my evidence for suggesting such a fundamental miscomprehension?

Skynet. That is all.

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April 16, 2011 at 12:20 am

Zombie spawn II

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And so parliament passed the zombie digital copyright bill under urgency.

Possibly the best aspect of this blog for me personally is being able to spew forth with the most florid vitriol I can be fucked conceiving of at the random moments I get the urge to post. I don’t have that kind of bile in me tonight, somehow this is above that because of the immediacy and closeness of the fundamental shift that has occurred.

In the shadow of this deceitful resolution, I am not possessed of my customary grace. I assure you that normal service will resume soon.

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April 15, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Zombie spawn of ACTA undead in NZ

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See this handsome back square? This is your brain on New Zealand internet. Oh, no, sorry – I totally got that wrong; It’s what your internet access will look like if you have a copyright infringement lodged against you under the govt’s new copyright amendment bill. No, sorry, it’s the bright glow of synapses firing like a universe of creative fireworks in the mind of MP Simon Power during the intense period of thought and reflection that went into the crafting of this new piece of legislation.

Actually, I am full of shit. Power is a douche in the sway of the big-business interests (full of lobby dollars, using the US political system as their proxy to lean on other countries) that make insipid mainstream cinema, music, and television. In short, to stop people from exchanging copyrighted information that is important to them, NZ is going to take away their right to access the internet, instead of redefining how copyright applies in a medium that was designed for bit-perfect reproduction.

This is pathetic blind kotowing of the highest order. Bring on the Blackout.

This post bought to you by the excellence that is

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April 13, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Technology douche

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So here I am, quietly on the couch, browsing away on a shiny new iPad like the skivvy wearing iDouche I never wanted to be, and I suddenly realize what a dick scene the iPad is.
I knew some of this in advance, like the fact that it doesn’t really multitask. At all. I knew that it was locked down tighter than the vaults in Geneva full of Nazi gold. I knew that it meant installing iTunes on a machine somewhere, which iThink sucks.
Despite all of those red flags, somehow I ended up with one, and now that I use it, I realize that I hate its shiny little arse. It is trying very hard to force me to operate how it wants me to…all I want to do is have a YouTube window open in my browser playing Sunn O)))) whilst I do something else. Namely, playing another Sunn O)))) track at the same time in another browser window. Why? Because I’m curious to hear the result and it’s reasonable to expect to be able to do so. Why the fuck not?
Stupid iPad. This douche nomination is shared between me (for getting the useless, sexy, well built little shit box) and the iPad itself, for all the reasons above multiplied by the increasingly Orwellian dickness of Apple.

Also, for extra lulz, I should point out that I was unable to ram my iJokes down your throat at this point in the post – I wanted to start this sentence originally with “iHate iT”, or some variation, but the iPad refused, REFUSED, to allow me to start a sentence with a lower-case letter. “I can not be associated with puns so unfunny” it mocked, “You are actually not cool enough to use me.” So then I broke out my faithful laptop to type this, while the iPad sneers at me from the corner of the room for being such an uncouth dingus.


Written by thewanderingdouche

November 8, 2010 at 8:01 am