The blog of the wandering douche

For recognition of the inhumane, thoughtless, greedy, and the negligent. And douchebags.

Music Douche, not many of those but here’s one…

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Sometimes I’m irrational, which I think is fine, because my irrationality is deeply heartfelt. Case in point – Ke$ha’s  track “we are who we are”, which rhetorically answers that timeless question; “Who’s a vacuous douche?”

At first I couldn’t work out why I heard maybe just three lines and then thought: “I don’t like this that much” but then I listened deeper, longer. And I thought “Possibly, Ke$ha, you are the apotheosis of lame”. But I’m torn between lame and awesome, because when something is so shit, the rebel in me is obligated to like it, and I do, and it is awesome. It’s less clear when lame corporate songbirds compete with each other, but when one dominates mindshare over the others, only temporarily as they do, and lifts his/her head over the parapet, he/she/it deserves what it gets.

Ke$ha deserves it on the basis that the song reprises the meeting-room of fourty-somethings it was written in, a sterile, boring space, filled with sterile, boring people, making a wage imagining what the youth of today (the “forever young” in the parlance of Ke$ha) want to hear so much so that the people who can most easily be parted with money (vacuous idiots, who generally deserve what they get, to be fair) will do so in its presence.

The song says “tonight we’re going hard”. Well, fair call. Who can deny a little going hard? “Just like the world is ours…” Well, presume what you want, can’t say I’m not guilty of this… “We’re tearing it apart…” Uhhhh…hang on…how? By buying apple products, costume jewellery, and clothes? By trading on sexual stereotypes pouting on video to sell more of your product? “You know we’re superstars…” Ok, 31 million youtube hits is 3o,999,999 more than this blog ever had, to be fair. “We are who we are…” Dickbags, clearly, who value temporally good looks and like going shopping, who like the idea of slogans, and who like poses as long as they get to choose which picture gets used.

But then, just to bite me in the ass, she says: “DJ, turn it up” – christ, I’m shaken by that exhortation. No DJ, don’t – you’ll threaten my establishment easy-chair. “It’s about damn time to live it up” (I wonder if she warned her mum before the song came out, and said “Mum, I’m going to say the d-word in this song I’ve got coming out, I’m going to say “Damn”!” – her mum said “Criminy! You’d best put a jesus necklace reference there or your father and I will be praying for your soul this thursday.”). Then, “I’m so sick of being so serious, It’s making my brain delirious” – I have this mental image of Barry, the divorced 52-year old at Sony/RCA who’s banging the overweight 32-year old temp working for him, and feeling like the pure distillation of youthful energy that he’s not, thinking of that line and yelling at the lyrics workgroup “SERIOUS/DELIRIOUS – AWESOME EH? IT’S EDGY, AND HITS THAT RHYMEY DEMOGRAPH….FUCK I AM HOT!” /Hi fives his colleague Rod.

Fucking hell, I hate this song. But also, I love it so…it’s vacuousness makes it a sick little zombie of a song, a warthog of unlovability – zeitgeist flash-in-the-pan seppuku of the creative soul. Still, she is young, a hackneyed cliche pandering to a 20-something market, apathy with a credit card, tequila, and fuck-me-boots. And possibly, therefore, an immortal archetype.

I like this kid instead. He does not suck.


Written by thewanderingdouche

December 15, 2010 at 10:37 am

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